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Methods Of Sleep Training

Methods of Sleep Training

Sleep training is a topic that is talked about a lot but isn’t always understood. There are certainly a lot of rumours about sleep training. The biggest one being that sleep training is just “cry-it-out”, but I assure you that this is definitely not the case. There are four main methods of sleep training that I am going to go into detail about in this blog but first let’s define the term “sleep training”!

What is sleep training?

Sleep training is the process of teaching a baby, toddler, or child, how to sleep independently. Sleeping independently means to sleep in their own sleep space (crib or bed) without any parental intervention to fall asleep initially or throughout the night.

Sleep training is sometimes referred to as sleep learning or sleep teaching.

There is so much more to sleep than just sleep training

Before you can even think about starting a sleep training plan, there are foundational pieces that need to be in place first. I go through these steps in detail in my free Guide to Sleeping Through the Night. Having these foundational pieces (sleep environment, optimal schedule, solid bedtime routine) in place are necessary before starting sleep training.

Pick Up, Put Down Method

As the name suggests, this method of sleep training involves putting your baby down in their crib awake, and if they cry, you pick them back up. During the “pick-up” you are offering comfort but want to be careful not to have baby fall asleep in your arms. Remember that the goal of any method of sleep training is to have your baby learn independent sleep skills. The first step in this process, is to have them fall asleep IN their crib. You will continue with the pick-up, put-downs until baby is asleep.

This method is most suitable for younger babies (4 months and under). For babies older than 4 months, this method will be too stimulating, causing more crying overall and will take longer to see results. Although this method may feel easiest for you as the parent, doing what is best for baby is always the priority.

Check-in Method

You may have heard of this method being referred to as the Ferber Method. In this method of sleep training, parents lay the child in their crib, say “goodnight”, then leave the room. Depending on your approach to this method, you will check in on your little in increasing increments (3 mins, 5 mins, 10 mins) or set intervals of time (every 5 or 10 mins) until they fall asleep.

During the check in you are only staying for a minute or so then leaving the room again. Always remembering that if you have committed to a sleep training plan then you WANT your little to fall asleep on their own because you believe in the benefits of healthy, independent sleep habits.

This method is suitable for children over the age of 4 months, still in a crib. Parents with multiple children to put to bed will benefit from this method as it allows you to put your other children to bed while sleep training the other.

Parent Present Method

This is the most common method of sleep training used by sleep consultants like me. The parent-present method is my favourite because I have found it to be most successful. It is the most effective method for teaching a child independent sleep skills for children over 4 months of age, in or out of a crib.

This method involves laying your baby in their crib (or bed) then sitting in a chair next to them as they work on learning to fall asleep on their own. You will offer them gentle reassurance periodically until they fall asleep, so they know you are with them during this process and that they are safe. Every few days, you will move further away from them until you are no longer in the room.

The key to success with this method it to have a solid plan to your approach. Too much interaction with your child will cause more crying overall and will prolong the process.

The parent-present approach is my favourite because my clients love it and do really well with it. Parents feel confident that they do not need to leave their child alone to cry themselves to sleep. And the best part of this method is that children do really well with it too. Children and babies are able to learn to sleep on their own with their parents in the same room. This offers them comfort and security during an often confusing time as they learn a new skill.

You wouldn’t give your child a bike and helmet and expect them to just start riding the bike on their own. They need your guidance to learn the skill of riding a bike. The same is true for learning the skill of independent sleep. It may be hard but with your guidance and the right environment and schedule you can guide your child to be a super sleeper.

Extinction Method

The extinction method is commonly referred to as “cry-it-out” and the reason that sleep training is so misunderstood. I hear TOO often how people believe that sleep training is “cry-it-out” but by now, you have read about the other methods, so you know this is not true.

The extinction method involves laying your baby in their crib and then leaving them alone to learn the skill of falling asleep on their own, until they fall asleep.

I will never judge a parent for using this method. This is the method that worked for my own daughter after failing at the check-in method. I wish I would have known about the parent present method back then! It would have saved me (and my daughter) a lot of heartache and unnecessary stress. It was my experience with the extinction method that inspired me to become a sleep consultant. Once I discovered there was a different approach to sleep training, I knew I needed to contribute to this industry and help other parents (and littles) have a healthier sleep training experience.  

Like I said, if this method feels best to you, you will never face judgement from me. Parents who choose this method probably won’t need the guidance of a sleep consultant. When parents come to me wanting this method, I coach them through a variation of the check-in method instead. I find it easier on both parents and baby!!

I encourage you to download my free Guide to Sleeping through the Night. There is so much more to sleep than sleep training so having the foundations I walk you through in this guide in place before implementing the extinction method will make this method much more successful!

Will there be crying?

Short answer? Yes. In any of the four methods of sleep training there will be some level of crying. It is important to understand that crying is a young child’s way of communicating. You can expect some tears while your child is protesting the changes you are making to their sleep habits. Through gentle, respectful, and consistent responses to your child, these tears will quickly fade.

Consistency is the key to any method of sleep training.

No matter which method you choose for your family, you need to be consistent. Without consistency you will be sending a VERY confusing message to your child and that is not fair them. Inconsistency will also prolong progress and can cause you to give up, leaving you right where you were before and can make any future sleep training attempts harder (especially with toddlers and older kids).

In order to be consistent you need to be confident in your sleep training plan, and you need to be held accountable in the execution of that plan. This is what I help my clients with. And I can help you too! I will give you a sleep training plan that fits your family’s needs, that you feel comfortable with and then I will provide you support so that you never feel stuck during the process.

Book your free sleep assessment call where we will talk about what it would look like to work together.

When you invest in your family’s sleep, you are more likely to follow through and see sweet sleep success.

I want you to see success and I know you want this too. We can do it together!

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